


hell's kitchen surprise

by beatboxbmo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bugs, Crying Oikawa Tooru, Established Relationship, Haiku, M/M, Movie Night, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pet Sitting, Screaming, Strongly Worded Language, deer farm, goats are a blessing tbh, mentions of murdering, slight drunkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:02:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8632963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatboxbmo/pseuds/beatboxbmo
Summary: a little collection of oisuga drabbles for a wonderful nerd named hell.





	1. iron giant

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zyaku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zyaku/gifts).



> (aka oikawa gets rly emotional about the movie the iron giant and suga doesn't give a fuck)
> 
> so! hell has this funny notion that I hate her which obvs is not the case bc I wouldn't write oisuga drabbles for someone I don't like, right? RIGHT. anyways. they're p dumb and short but hopefully they make u laugh hell (sadly I wasn't able to do any of the ideas u sent me)
> 
> happy birthday lil hellion~

"Are you crying?"

There's a sniffle in response before Oikawa can properly answer. "He just told the robot he _loves_ him Suga-chan! It's just so heartbreaking."

"It's a robot."

"HE STILL HAS FEELINGS!"

Before Suga can say anything else, the Iron Giant meets the missal, and, obviously, blows up.

"...Not anymore."

Oikawa gasps loudly. He scoots away, putting distance between him and his boyfriend as he draws the blanket tighter around his frame. " _How dare you._ You are sleeping on the couch tonight."

Oikawa glares at Suga with so much anger, Suga starts to wonder if there's more to the story than this. But then Oikawa turns his attention back to the screen. The mother and artist have obviously hooked up by this point in the story, and the kid is getting along with his peers. A package is exchanged, then a time skip to the end of the day. The metal piece given to the kid lights up and moves of its own accord, and it's evident what's about to happen. The screen shifts to showing robotic parts moving across a snowy landscape and then, the giant's face.

A shudder is released from Oikawa, and Suga rolls his eyes. He doesn't understand why his boyfriend loves this movie so much, but the fact that he's seen it countless times and still gets emotional is kind of amazing.

As the credits roll, Suga starts to kick off his own blanket and put the remotes back on the table. He moves the popcorn bowl out of the way so it doesn't accidentally fall and turns to face Oikawa. He still isn't looking at Suga, choosing instead to keep his gaze adverted to the side.

Suga sighs. " _Lady and the Tramp_ next or _Aristocats_?"

For a moment Oikawa doesn't even blink. And then he hastily wipes his eyes, turns and gives Suga a dazzling smile, and says, "Everybody wants to be a cat, Suga. You should know that by now."


	2. hime hime dai-where r u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (aka oisuga petsit ushi's cat and end up losing her)

"Suga... have you seen Hime-chan?"

"No? She's a cat, Tooru, she likes to hide."

"Okay but--"

That's all it takes for Suga to drop the dish he was holding and spin to face the direction of the living room. "Oh god, what did you do."

"Nothing! I swear!" the cry is more shrill than usual, which confirms Suga's suspicion.

"Tooru..." he starts to make his way out of the kitchen and towards the living room. He finds Tooru curled into a corner of the couch, face tucked against his knees so Suga can't see his expression.

"I... may have left the balcony door open last night..."

Suga's heart stops. His soul is already so far out of his body that he doesn't even feel scared knowing what can happen now. Hime is probably dead and they will be too once her actual owner returns and she's not here and Tooru is so irresponsible sometimes--

Best case scenario: she comes back a little under the weather, _maybe_ knocked up, but totally fine otherwise. Worst case: she's dead. Suga knows which option he'd prefer, but the worst case scenario is definitely more likely. She's not an outdoor cat, she barely even looks out the window, for Christ's sake. So her adventuring outside is just not something Suga can wrap his head around. Her being able to make her way back to the apartment is even more unlikely.

"Oh, Hime-chan."

A meow responds to Tooru's voice, and Suga sucks in a breath as a giant white fur ball jumps onto the back of the couch, carefully making her way towards Tooru's end. Her tail swishes behind her, and then she's leaning towards Tooru to have her head rubbed. She looks perfectly fine.

"Where'd you come from, princess? Hm?"

The nonchalance in Tooru's voice has Suga's soul snapping back into his body. He gives the pair one last look, promises to never mention this mini chaotic ordeal to Ushijima when he returns, and retreats back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up.

Suga will treat this like it never happened, and then he and Tooru won't be murdered for even possibly endangering the life of Ushijima's beloved pet.

Ignorance is bliss, and all that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone likes to imagine ushi with a dog but imagine him rottenly spoiling a fluffy white Persian cat who has the most scrunched up face ever and he always holds her against his chest and brushes her three times a day and she's just so loved by him and he's so sweet
> 
> (this drabble was more for me than u hell sorry idc)


	3. bug boy rescue plan action fail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (aka suga's afraid of bugs and oikawa is an ass)

"Suga-chan; _Don't. Move._ "

At the sound of Tooru's tone his body instantly freezes, one hand holding a dirty plate poised right above the sink, one leg kicked up as he prepared to spin himself around, and his other hand reaching behind him for Tooru's plate. He doesn't know why he was told to stop, but he knows when to listen to his boyfriend (he doesn't do it very often but at least he knows when it matters).

"Okay," Tooru sighs, coming into Koushi's line of vision. The seriousness on his face has Koushi wondering if he should panic. Tooru takes in a deep breath, and when he speaks, the words rush out so quickly Koushi almost has a tough time discerning what he says. "So I don't want to alarm you but there's a giant bug behind you on the floor and I know how you react so I'm just going to take this and set it down gently and then rush to the broom closet so just don't move until I get back because I don't want either of us to startle it and I know how you get so just _don't move_ okay? Okay bye be right back."

And then he's gone. The plate clatters into the sink and Koushi is left standing there awkwardly as he tries to soak in when Tooru said. And when the words do sink in, he feels his breath catch in his throat.

A bug? Behind him. And apparently it's a... giant one.

Normally Tooru doesn't lie about such things (except he does tend to over-exaggerate for Koushi's sanity just so he can swoop in like a hero which never ends up working--except it kind of does because Koushi is terrified of bugs _especially when they're in his home_ ) and he's always quick to take care of them. Sometimes he kills the little bastards, sometimes he just scoots them out the window. Koushi doesn't really care as long as they're _gone_ and they don't get back _in._ The last thing he wants to do is wake up in bed with a giant moth floating around his head. Again. Or spiders in shoes. Roaches in the cupboards... honestly just insects anywhere in the apartment he doesn't want.

He can hear Tooru banging around in the broom closet, though if he's looking for the actual broom then he passed it by on his way out the kitchen: Koushi swept the floor this morning and never put it back.

There's a muffled "Aha!" and his footsteps pound across the fake wooden floors until he reemerges with... their five gallon mop bucket.

_Now_ Koushi starts to panic. What kind of monstrosity needs a five gallon bucket to cover it?

Tooru gives him a wild grin and a thumbs up before moving behind him, bucket poised and ready for capture.

"This is much more sanitary then using our own bowls," Tooru says in passing. Koushi still hasn't moved an inch, but when Tooru is behind him, creeping up on the suspect, he gets a little curious. He _has_ to know what this bug is--what it looks like--and he finds himself lowering his limbs to a resting position and turning his torso slowly, so he can always look away if need be.

The first thing he realizes is that the bug isn't on the floor. It's sandwiched between the toaster and the coffee maker and the rack of very breakable coffee mugs. The next thing he realizes is that it's _fucking huge._ Almost like some sort of mutated cockroach centipede and--oh god are those--are those _wings_?

At the sight of the orange gallon bucket the creature's wings start to spread back and it lifts up on it's multiple legs. One hiss from it is all it takes for Koushi to scream and bolt from the kitchen. Tooru jumps and drops the bucket and Koushi doesn't have time to figure out where the insect darts off too before he's jumping over the back of the couch and scrambling for the throw they keep on it.

"Gotta hide gotta hide gotta hide," he mumbles to himself as he contorts his body into a ball, blanket effectively shielding him from all outside forces. It's already hot under the blanket, his labored breathing isn't helping, and he's pretty sure his neck will be screaming at him later from the position he's in. But he doesn't really care right now because he's _safe_ and nothing can get to him in here.

Tooru is shouting and _laughing._ Koushi doesn't want to know what he's doing.

"Holy shit Suga," he huffs. Koushi can hear him running around the kitchen, the gallon bucket occasionally hitting furniture or the cabinets. "We've never had one this fast before. I'm impressed."

"Please just get rid of it already."

There's more laughter, followed by a less-than-appealing "Oh shit" before he hears Tooru stop moving.

"Um,"

"Oh no," Koushi mumbles. He starts to shake. He doesn't like the tone of Tooru's voice.

Nervous chuckles fill the silent apartment, and then Koushi can hear Tooru walk out of the kitchen.

" _Oh no._ "

"Listen, Koushi--"

"Please tell me it's not--"

"It's not! I swear!"

"Tooru," the high-pitched whine he emits is almost embarrassing because it's a sound he reserves for the bedroom, but now is also a perfectly acceptable time to lose his inhibitions. He knows what's happening and he's not sure if he should stay still or run.

"Just. Just don't move, alright? Everything's _fine._ Nothing to worry about, babe."

Tooru using an affectionate term that's not attached to a name means that something is definitely wrong.

" _Nope._

Koushi isn't going to wait. He's not going to wait and let Tooru do something stupid--again. He throws the blanket off him and sits up, already moving to stand from the couch and bolt for the bedroom. Maybe a door would be better protection than a blanket.

Except he isn't able to even move from the couch because right where his head used to be is the monstrosity. It's bigger than his hand and it's _right there_ , staring at him with multiple eyes and wings spread out. The front of its elongated body is lifted and the dangling limbs seem to be rubbing together, like it's a supervillain hatching a master plan.

Koushi is pretty proud of the fact that he doesn't scream or cry. His mouth just drops open at the sight of the bug being so close, and he can feel his hands start to shake in fear. It's so _huge_ and it's just staring at him.

"Oooh, that's kind of. Cute."

Oh God, is he going to have to protect _himself_ this time? Has Tooru finally failed him? Have they met their match in this super bug? What is he even supposed to do in a situation like this? There's no way in hell he's using his hands to trap the beast--it could be poisonous after all--and if he trapped it with the blanket behind him then he might as well throw the blanket away, which, he won't do, because it's a perfectly useful blanket that he's not going to sacrifice.

But when the bug's wings start to flap, Koushi thinks he can spare the cash for a new blanket.

With a scream he grabs for the blanket and throws it over the bug, but it's faster than that, and it chooses Koushi's face as its new landing zone. He screams again, more high pitched, and in his hurried attempt at flinging it off, he hears Tooru laugh before his elbow connects with his boyfriend's face. He's too freaked to care, and as soon as the bug has been forcibly removed--

"Oh god oh fucking hell no I hate you so much Tooru I hate you I hate this goodbye oh god--"

He runs down the hall and towards the bedroom, screaming and patting himself to make sure the bug isn't hijacking his body in any way. He slams the door behind him and dives under the bed covers, his body shivering. His face feels filmy and pinpricks keep traveling over his spine like something's walking on it and he just wants to scream and cry but can't find the breath to do either.

In the distance, he hears more laughter punctured by the occasional shout. There's thuds and bangs, and Koushi is almost worried about what's going on, but is too relieved at realizing it all means the bug is out there and not in here with him.

He must drift off, because the next thing he knows is he's being gently shook awake by a smiling Tooru.

He glares, but when he notices the dark splotch on his cheek, Koushi sighs and reaches for it, letting his fingers ghost over the skin in apology.

Tooru places a hand over his, entwining their fingers before he brings Koushi's fingers to his mouth so he can place soft kisses on his knuckles. It'd be a great way to wake up most mornings but...

His eyes narrow.

"What'd you do with it?"

Tooru gives him a shitty innocent smile before letting go of his hand and quickly jumping off the bed.

"You're gonna freak out and I don't want you to buuuut,"

" _Tooru_ ," Koushi throws off the covers and bolts up, not liking how Tooru is acting. Surely he didn't...

"Snapchat isn't going to do it any justice! I want to show it to some people to show them what I went up against and how else are they supposed to believe me if I don't have the actual thing still?"

"What did you do with it?" he asks again.

"It... might be under our pasta strainer with some plant leaves and water so it'll stay alive until tomorrow."

Tooru's eyes are rolling around, looking at everything in the room except Koushi. He can feel his own eyes start to roll in annoyance, but then he realizes--it's still alive.

_It's still alive_ and _still in their apartment._ And if that's the case, then it'll have the opportunity of escaping and there is no way in _hell_ Koushi is going to be able to sleep with the idea of that thing getting free.

He jumps off the bed and heads for the closet, already knowing what clothes he's going to pack. He is not dealing with this shit.

Tooru just sighs. He doesn't even budge as Koushi throws shirts and pants onto the bed before heading into the attached bathroom, banging around under the sink cabinet to get his travel bag. It's already stocked with a few items, so he doesn't need to go through it.

There's a suitcase tucked in the back of their closet that he lugs out and shoves his belongings into. For quick measure, he subtly grabs a sweatshirt of Tooru's because honestly, Tooru's scent is the only thing that helps him sleep when he's not around. Even if it's just for a night or a week. And even when he's beyond annoyed or upset, he can't--and doesn't--want to go a night without feeling like Tooru is nearby.

Knowing this, Tooru places the stuffed bunny of his into Koushi's suitcase.

"Do you want me to call Tendou or Sawamura?"


	4. hellkus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (aka surprise)

instead of haikus  
here is a bunch of nonsense  
i'm calling **hellkus**

\/\/\/\/\

write haikus for hell  
they said it would be easy  
it was not easy

><><><><

hell is quite rad...ish  
no one is as cool as her  
pediatrician

><><><><

why the freaking hell  
do you like haikus so much  
and ennotana

><><><><><

there is nothing quite  
like a cup of hell cup in the  
refrigerator

\/\/\/\/

I can't write haikus  
have u noticed? but 4 u  
hell, I tried so hard

\/\/\/

ive never done so  
much counting in my whole life  
my fingers r tire

><><>

I wrote half of these  
while on the toilet @ work  
it's why they're shitty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls don't hate me


	5. enno-whatnow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (aka oikawa thinks he's not a nasty freak)
> 
> this one has some Stronger Language compared to the others but it's not graphic or anything and it's v short
> 
> there's also 1 more sorta ch left after this but it's longer and still not finished so there's that to look forward to

"Do they have no shame?"

Suga is still breathless from the kiss, his eyes half-closed while his lips are still puckered, searching for Tooru's mouth. The abrupt ending has his head spinning--or maybe it was the grinding--and really all he wants to do is do _more_ , despite the fact that they're in a public setting with dozens of prying eyes.

Tooru's torso has straightened to look over Suga's shoulder, and his eyes are narrowed in that disdainful, disappointed look he gets when he really doesn't like what he's seeing.

Suga turns to look at what he's seeing, and almost wants to slap the man in his lap.

Two strangers are tucked away in a corner, bodies pressed so tight together that there's no space between them. The one with the bald head has his shirt halfway up his body, while the black-haired stranger's pants seem to be dangerously low on his hips. Suga would blush at the sight, under normal circumstances. But considering the drinks he's had and what he and Tooru were just doing a minute ago, he could care less.

"I mean, look at them! Disgusting! They should get a room to stop blinding us with their porno show." Tooru huffs and waves a hand at them, and it takes everything Suga has not to throw Tooru off him.

"Seriously," he says. He pinches Tooru's hip to get his attention, inciting a mild squawk of annoyance from the other man. "You do realize the position we're in? I'm practically fucking you."

Tooru's mouth drops open at the words, not used to Suga's vulgarity. He can feel himself smirk, loving the surprised expression on Tooru's face. He rubs a hand up and down Tooru's thigh, both still firmly nestled on either side of him.

Suga's voice drops another notch when he speaks again, his lips brushing up against Tooru's when he whispers, "I would _really_ like to continue, too."

The fluttering of Tooru's eyelashes seals the deal. He barely mumbles "Okay" before Suga has his arms wrapped around him, lifting him from the couch and pulling him towards the staircase he saw down the hall.

Hopefully there's an empty room around here.


	6. d e e r  f a r m

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (aka d e e r f a r m)
> 
> (aka this is the shitty conclusion to this mess of oisuga)

"Are you going to murder me?"

The instant burst of nervous laughter beside him doesn't quell his fear.

"What? Why would you think that?"

"Because you practically kidnapped me from my apartment, didn't let me dress properly, haven't said where we're going, and have been driving further and further into the woods. That's a little suspicious Oikawa, don't you think?"

Suga turns a steely eye onto the man next to him. If this had been a life-long friend of his, maybe he'd be a little more calm. After all, Tendou is known to be impulsive and spontaneous. But he also can't keep a secret so he ends up blabbering out his plans anyways so Suga's always left a little less-than surprised.

But Oikawa... they haven't known each other very long. They haven't even been on a date yet. A random meeting at the bowling alley suddenly turned into late night phone calls and good morning texts, and Suga was almost fine with just being friends with the guy. Sure, he was absurdly pretty and witty, but he was also childish and impatient and he _never stopped talking._ Although, Suga might have been mad if Oikawa only talked about himself, but he'd end up talking about his family or friends or continuously engage Suga in a new round of 20 questions. It had them learning details quickly, but sometimes, Suga just wanted to sit and enjoy Oikawa's company.

"There will be no kidnapping or murdering today, Suga-chan. I promise you that!" Oikawa bangs a fist onto the steering wheel, causing Suga to flinch. He doesn't like this. They drove twenty minutes out of town and are now driving down back roads in a secluded forest Suga has never been to. This can't be good, right? If he wasn't so nervous he'd check his phone, but he doesn't want to instigate anything. Like Oikawa manhandling him for his phone and eventually tossing it out the window, ruining all chances he has to contact anyone for help.

Suga sinks into his seat. "Then can you at least tell me where we're going?"

Oikawa actually has the audacity to turn and _wink_ at Suga. "We're almost there. Don't worry."

_Too late._

He doesn't say anything else though, or even move much. He keeps his eyes trained out the window to look for landmarks, but he's not used to all this green. Skyscrapers and concrete is what he's used to. There's too many trees and shrubs and everything looks the same. Like, there's another fallen tree. Have they passed it already? Have they just been going in circles so Oikawa can confuse him and have his panic levels rise?

Honestly, maybe he is overreacting, but since he doesn't _really_ know Oikawa like some of his other friends, and they've only known each other a few months, it could be likely that Oikawa is actually an axe murder or something. Or maybe he'll just keep Suga holed up in a cabin somewhere, alone and with nothing to do, only coming by twice a week to make sure he has food and water and hasn't escaped yet. Maybe he'll get windows, so he could at least look outside. Maybe there'll be books or a TV--no, a kidnapper wouldn't want their hostage to have a TV. It could lead to too many problems.

Before he can start to mentally kick himself over thinking about what life would be like if he were kidnapped, Oikawa is turning again, and suddenly, there's a wooden fence and a small building down the road. Oikawa starts to hum as they drive closer, but then he groans.

"Aw, it looks like they're still closed."

"What? What's closed?"

They park just a few feet from the opening of the building. Oikawa turns to him after parking the car, a dazzling smile on his face. He lifts a hand to gesture to the wooden fence in front of them.

"Welcome to the deer farm!"

Out of all the things running through Suga's mind, a deer farm was not one of them.

"Say what now?"

Oikawa nods enthusiastically. "It's a deer farm! They have loads of deer but other animals too."

"Deer farm." Suga repeats the words, still unsure.

"Deer farm."

"Like.... what? Deer farm? What?"

Oikawa sighs and rolls his eyes. " _Yes_ , Suga-chan, it's a deer farm. They roam around the area and you can feed and pet them. Most of the other animals are penned in but you can still see them pretty well. It's really fun! My brother found out about it when it first opened and brought his family here. Takeru _loves_ it and I've come up with him on more than one occasion over the years."

"Why did you bring me up here?" Suga still feels uneasy, like maybe this is just a cover up for Suga's death. Take him to a remote location, kill him after some time, and then feed him to a bunch of deer to hide the body. Wait--deer are herbivores. Would they eat a dead body? What if they were mutated deer and ate human flesh? Or maybe they're so starved that they'll eat just about anything--

"Suga, chill," Oikawa's laugh is softer and a little more hesitant. He gives Suga a funny look, a mix of concern and worry and something else, maybe something like fear. But why would Oikawa be afraid? He's not the one about to be _murdered._ "It's gonna be fine."

Suga narrows his eyes. "Why are we here, Oikawa?"

There's a flinch around Oikawa's eyes before his features start to smooth back. Suga almost regrets his tone of voice when he sees the closed off expression, but he's a little too scared to really care.

Finally Oikawa shrugs and turns to look out the driver's window. When he speaks, his voice is subdued, but it holds that lilt of hurt and hope and wishful thinking. "Because I really like this place and I thought it would be a cool first date idea. Something no one else is ever gonna do with you."

The guilt is so strong he wants to throw up.

"Oh," he breathes. He turns back to the fence, not wanting to stare at Oikawa any longer. The side profile of his friend--boyfriend, now?--has him chilled. In front, all he sees is the tall wooden fence, blocking off their view of what's on the other side. Through the planks he catches glimpses of movement, but it's impossible to tell if it's people or animals.

"If you want we can go somewhere else. Or--or I could just take you home."

Oikawa likes to think he hides his emotions effortlessly, but over their months spent together, Suga has found it easy to read between the lines of his masks. The bitterness of rejection, the heavy weight of regret. The guilt churns Suga's stomach.

He never thought Oikawa would want to date him. Sure, their friendship went a little hazy sometimes, with the affectionate touching and longing looks and late nights spent together either on the phone or curled up in some tight spot, but Suga thought most of it was one-sided. He just counted himself lucky that he could be so close to the bright spot that is Oikawa Tooru. He wasn't going to push anything, wasn't going to bring anything up, he was just going to sit back and let things flow naturally.

Maybe Oikawa's idea of natural is them taking the next step towards actually developing a relationship. It sounds ridiculous, but Suga is too wishful to just push the idea away. He's... definitely curious as to what dating Oikawa Tooru is like.

Suga reaches over and nudges Oikawa, getting the other to look at him again. He gives a soft smile. "What time does the farm open?"

><><><

The inside is filled with pricey handmade knickknacks and pricey machine-made souvenirs. They wander a bit until Oikawa pulls them towards the register, and the lady smacks her gum while Oikawa pays for their tickets. Suga wants to object, but Oikawa has a habit of spending too much money on himself and others.

"Do you want any feed? It's just a little extra." Oikawa shakes his head, but turns to Suga questioningly.

"I've done it already, so I'm good. But do you want to?"

Suga shrugs, the idea of feeding deer sounding cute and wonderful. "Sure, why not?"

The lady pops another bubble and adds the extra cost. After having Oikawa sign his receipt, she shuffles around a few cups off to the side to look at the feed. The cups are small, child-sized, and under the drawings of deer and a family, it says "I fed the deer!"

"Here ya go. The male deer with the antlers are penned in right now because it's mating season. You can still see them but don't get too close to the fence. We have a camel out, and she's friendly, but don't stand with your back to her. She likes to chew on long hair." her eyes dart from Oikawa's head to Suga's, eyeing their hair length. Suga's sure he wouldn't have a problem since he has shorter hair but-- _a camel_? His mouth drops open while the lady continues to talk. "You can go out that door over there. Any questions?"

Oikawa shakes his head enthusiastically, beaming a smile between Suga and the cashier. She pops another bubble while staring at Suga, who eventually gives a lackluster shake.

"Alright, enjoy yourselves."

He's nervous, but also excited. When the door opens and they're in the back, Suga's eyes don't know where to look first.

There's goats! Right there! But then he's distracted by all the deer. There's so many of them! The space is huge and they're just roaming all over the place.

They go through the gates and as soon as Suga's hand starts shuffling the cup of feed, heads turn and they're being surrounded.

"My brother told me when they first came here with Takeru and he was feeding the deer, he was crying because he thought they'd eat his fingers."

"Deer are strictly herbivores though, right?" Suga can't help but let the question slip. He's still a little nervous about being out here with just Oikawa, but now knowing why has helped calm him. But still. Man-eating deer. Doesn't sound like a good thing.

Oikawa just shrugs nonchalantly and goes to pet a deer that's nudging Suga's back. "Beats me."

Traveling up the paved path, Suga empties small amounts of feed into one hand and lowers it for the deer to eat. They're greedy bastards, and two in particular seem to shove their noses into his hand more than the others. He eyeballs them, even calls them names and jerks his hand around their heads to bypass their nibbling, but they don't relent. He manages to just shove his hand under a baby deer's mouth before the cream-colored deer is pushing the baby out of the way.

"Rude much," he mumbles. He lets her have it anyways. His hand is covered in dirt and deer slobber and residue from the feed. It's disgusting, and the cold breeze doesn't help any, but he's actually... pretty happy.

They see the camel, but she's too far to really get a good look at it, munching on something in her stall. Suga's pretty surprised that there's a fucking _camel_ at a deer farm. There's also a few peacocks just strolling around, and _bison_ as well. Bison? Seriously? Amazing.

Further up the path is the fenced off area with the male deer. Their antlers are intriguing but Suga doesn't want to risk anything by getting closer. Behind him, Oikawa stops to take a few pictures of two particularly large males.

He's halfway through the cup when they reach another gate, and he dumps a small handful on the ground to distract the following deer so they can slip through. Following this slightly curvy trail they bypass a pigeon coop, both llamas and alpaca (which Suga isn't getting near either because he doesn't want his fingers chewed on or his face spat in), _reindeer_ , and a wonderfully weird creation called a zonkey.

"He's so huge," Suga mumbles. His cup is filled again, but with tried corn kernels instead of animal feed. He shakes it absentmindedly while they stare at the zonkey. Bigger than a regular donkey but looking just as similar, except for the weird pattern of black and white stripes and plain grey.

"Having fun?" Oikawa asks him as they reach the end of the trail, which is also the start. They went around the entire enclosure.

Suga smiles at him. He's feeling a hundred times better than when they first arrived; feeding the deer, joking with Oikawa, petting the deer, catching up with Oikawa. He could do this all day.

"It's pretty amazing," he replies.

They head inside to clean up, and when they head back out they jump into the goat pen.

One is curled up in what's probably a water tub, or maybe it's just... a bed of some sorts. Another is just lazily strolling around the pen, eating things off the ground. The other two are head-butting.

One of the headbutters, a seemingly older goat with an actual beard, inspects Oikawa first as he strolls towards them. Suga tries to follow the one strolling around, a black goat that doesn't seem to have a care in the world. One of the speckled goats runs past Suga and into the little house, then runs out again.

Oikawa, of course, has his phone out and is recording or snapshotting everything. Suga picks leaves up off the ground and feeds them to the goats after they see how crazy they go after the leaves leave the tree. It's hilarious to see them drop everything when a leaf falls to the ground and how the goats rush over to grab it. The bearded one even tries to fight one of the speckled goats.

After awhile, the two take a seat at the stone bench in the enclosure. Suga has a handful of leaves that he feeds to the bearded goat, and Oikawa just thumbs at his phone.

"Sorry, about earlier," Suga eventually says, keeping his eyes focused on the oblong pupils of the goat instead of Oikawa. He doesn't miss the way his friend shifts away. "I was just... really nervous."

"Have I ever given you a reason to mistrust me?"

The hurt tone has Suga's stomach twisting. He doesn't like hearing Oikawa like this. He doesn't like the fact that he's the one that's causing his friend pain. Maybe it's not that noticeable, but he knows Oikawa.

"No," Suga starts. He's out of leaves. The goat runs off when the wind blows fresh leaves to the ground. "But it was just really weird, okay? We haven't known each other that long and suddenly you're taking me out to the middle of nowhere. I panicked."

Oikawa scoffs. "You watched that _Friday the 13th_ marathon last night, didn't you?"

"No!" Suga turns and shoves Oikawa hard, almost sending the other toppling off the bench. He laughs and shoves at Suga, albeit softer. "Maybe."

When they settle down, shoulders pressed together and heads bowed close so they can whisper, Suga swears he never wants this day to end.

"I'm... I really like you, Suga-chan. And I just wanted this to be special."

"I really like you too," Suga pretends he doesn't notice the crack in his own voice, and hopes Oikawa ignores it too. He didn't think this would ever happen, so sue him if he wants to cry tears of joy, okay? Oikawa Tooru is wanting him, and that's the best thing he could ever wish for.

Their peaceful moment is broken when the wind blows and ushers more leaves to the ground, and a cluster happen to land at their feet. The black goat is already nearby, gobbling up the ones around their legs, but then the bearded goat rushes over, head butts the other one away, and insistently picks up the rest, even jumping up onto the bench to grab the ones off Oikawa's leg.

They break away from each other and go back to playing with the goats. They sneak in hugs and selfies and more leaves, doing everything they can to distract the bearded leader so they can feed the more unfortunate goats.

By the end, Suga has his arms wrapped around the bearded bastard and he turns a wobbly frown up to Oikawa. "I just wanna bring him home," he says, even going so far as to lay his head near the goat's small and curved horns. Oikawa laughs, of course, and says he wishes Suga could take it home too.

All too soon they're leaving, going through the shop once more to look more carefully at the overpriced knickknacks and souvenirs, before retreating back to Oikawa's car.

"This was a really good morning," he says, gazing at the part of the fence that's hiding the elk. Yeah, the farm has an elk too. She's super nice.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. For a moment there I thought you were going to murder me!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i went to a deer farm the other week when i visited my friend and it was so much fun. we lit just walked around the area and pet/fed the deer. the goats were the most fun. the bearded bastard was a blast and at one point jumped up on the bench with me and my friend to get at the leaves we were feeding him. not entirely happy with how this piece turned out, but just imagine that in some universe there r pics of oi doing peace signs with baby deer and suga cries while hugging the goats
> 
> an y wa ys. HELLLLL. it's officially not ur bday here anymore sadly bUT I TRIED. i rly hope u enjoyed this mess and i hope u had a wonderful day and i hope we can continue being. whatever we are. u weirdo.


End file.
